POETRY

 

If called by a panther

            don’t anther  (Ogden Nash)

 

An operatic tenor named Boyce

            shattered fine mirrors with his voice

At a party with class

he broke all the glass           

            and rode home in a windy Rolls Royce

 

One, two, three

            Buckle my shoe  (Robert Benchley)

 

A tutor who tooted the flute

            Tried to tutor two tooters to toot

Said the two to the tutor

“Is it harder to toot, or

            to tutor two tooters to toot?

 

Roses are red

     Violets are blue

I’m schizophrenic

     And so am I  (Oscar Levant)

 

Life is hard

     by the yard

But by the inch

     life’s a cinch  (Jean Gordon)

 

When you’re kissing with your honey

     And your nose feels runny

You may think it’s funny

     But it’s not

 

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. (Mark twain)

 

You have brains in your head

     You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself

     Any direction you choose  (Dr. Seuss)

 

C-D-E-D-B-D ducks?

            M-R-not ducks!

O-S-A-R

            C-D-E-D-B-D wings?

 

You think your pains and heartbreaks are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that things that tormented me were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who have ever been alive. (James Baldwin)

 

Thoidy doidy boids

            Sittin’ on da coib

Choipin’ ‘n boipin’

            N’ eatin’ doidy oith woims

Along comes Hoibie

            From Thoidy-thoid ‘n Thoid

Saw da thoidy doidy boids

            Sittin’ on da coib

Choipin’ ‘n boipin’

            N’ eatin’ doidy oith woims

Boy…was he distoibed      (The Red Hot Chili Peppers)

 

There once was a girl named Sarah

Who, at twenty, was really quite fair-ah

But even more nifty

As a girl of fifty

Blossomed with beauty most rare-ah (Willy)

 

The trouble with a kitten is

THAT

Eventually it becomes a

CAT   (Ogden Nash)

 

A wonderful bird is the pelican.

His mouth can hold more than his belican.

He can take in his beak

Enough food for a week

            I’m darned if I know how the helican. (Dixon L. Merritt)